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Pop quiz… How many “religious officers” (that’s my best attempt to describe these people… heck, not that I care about them that much anyway) in a country of 27 million of which roughly 50% are Muslims, are needed to ensure that uncooked and cooked food which are sold publicly are “Halal”?

One thousand? Five thousand? I just heard on TV3 News (you might not see the particular article anytime soon, they are not exactly “real time”), that the answer is… wait for this… six. 6… as in, between 5 and 7!!! Unbloodybelievable! Essentially, this means that there is one Islamic Development Department (JAKIM) officer looking after every 2.25 million Muslim Malaysians’ right under their religious dietary law. Unbloodybelievable!

And there’s more… the highly intellectual people at JAKIM know that they have “some” manpower issues at present, and that they are in the process of increasing the number of officers to 160 nationwide. So, instead of one officer for every 2.25 million Muslims, they think that one for every 84,375 would be a more logical ratio… ah well, whatever. They seem to be overlooking another key problem in their department, which is their bloody slow pace of getting things done.

I’ve seen hundreds of expired Halal stickers in food joints all around Malaysia. When I pointed out the issue with the owners, the response are always the same… “We’ve been calling those JAKIM folks forever! And every time, they say that they’re coming… but they never came!”. If I’ve only heard it once every blue moon, the stall/shop owners might be lying… but when everyone says the same thing… I tend to believe them. Perhaps it’s also due to my own experience dealing with governmental bureaucratic bullshit… especially by these inefficient clowns… but that’s a story for another day.

But I guess this is the Malaysian way lately… the government will only act when the media screams. Not that I’m complaining! Under the old leadership, the only purpose for the media’s existance seemed to be as a pro-government propaganda platform… I believe that we’re much better off now than we ever were for the past 20 years or so.

For over two days now, the main story in the national newspapers were about the amazing achievement of Nur Amalina Che Bakri, who got 17 As (SEVENTEEN Bloody As, can you bloody believe that?!) in her SPM (for those familiar with UK style education systems, this is roughly equivalent to GCE O-Levels). I tried to find more info about SPM for your reference, but the stupid MOE web site has no such info… Ah well, 99.9% of Malaysian government department webbies are usually bloody useless anyway.

My congrats goes to Amalina for her success! If somehow you got to read this entry, please take care of yourself and try to limit your interaction with the media as soon as possible. From me experience, this kind of exposure does more harm than good. Ego is not a nice thing to have blown out of proportions.

Anyway, this aspiring gynaecologist (I believe that this is the proper translation of the Malay term “pakar sakit puan”) is very interested to continue her studies at Cambridge… a very ambitious and wise choice indeed. Based on my experience with the academic professionals who are currently staffing the local public universities, you’re much better off studying abroad anyway, especially if you can afford it…

But I guess that’s an issue to be blogged in later

Agent Nicola Calipari, who was instrumental in securing the release of Italian journalist Giuliana Sgrena, was needlessly killed by the US occupying forces in Iraq as they approached a checkpoint.

Of course, the self-proclaimed messiah of democracy, promised a full inquiry to this latest incident… but we know from previous experience that the findings of all US government inquiries should be taken with a fistful of salt, pepper and MSG.

The US forces said that the victims’ car approached the checkpoint at high speed. Ms Sgrena claimed that what the Americans are saying are blatant lies. What we do know for sure is that a hero died performing his duties with full commitment and undying sense of responsibility.

To the family and friends of the late Agent Calipari, my deepest condolences goes to you. It’s sad to see yet another innocent life being taken in this unnecessary conflict.